Sunday, May 06, 2007

solitude

The need for solitude has always been very short lived with me. I am at my best in a social setting, I am when of 7 so from as long as I can conceivably remember I have always been surrounded by noise, tears, arguments, discussions, but mostly laughter and I grew up associating laughter and happiness with people. So I have to admit living alone in a foreign country in the beginning was difficult and I did what I do best, make several arrangements to go out and meet with friends and work on new ones.

But being alone as strange and silent and avoidable as I wanted to make it it was most noticeable and present at night and more so at the early hours of the morning, especially at Fajr. When you’re in a large flat by yourself the presence of your lord is almost tangible, it’s special and there is a bare vulnerability that radiates from you that the world normally masks with all its noise and crazy commotion.

When all that is striped away you have the opportunity to look at the core of you, with all that makes you, the beauty, the imperfections, the failings, the success. An insight such as that forces you to take a fresh look within yourself in a way that if you choose to will allow you to illuminate the good and work on the bad. Essentially you become truly re-acquainted with yourself and what a canvas to work with the human soul is.

The cave of Hira was the sanctuary of the Rasul (saw) and I have come to internalise that we all need a place where we can simply BE in the presence of the creator.

8 comments:

Ever The Idealist said...

Salaam hon. Good to know you are reflecting and making use of the time. So often I find myself alone at my place and I do anything but sit and reflect and then I realise what I am doing and I make an effort to spend atleast an hour to sit and try to connect with Him.
You are so lucky to be doing this is Egypt. Enjoy it and make sure that you have a FIRM idea of what you want so that people dont make you doubt yourself. Hope you know what I am talking about.
Jazakallah for letting me talk today.
I love you hon as much as the other person invloved because you are that special

NATIVE FEMALE said...

Reflecting and contemplating are always right up my street. Glad you could join me on this side :) When I lived alone I used to contemplate a lot more.......these days I tend to do it while on long solitude walks.

Keep reflecting......its what keeps our life in perspective.

Missing you.....especially now.

Make dua!

The Godfather said...

Having your own 'Me Time' and reflecting is so important. It's medicinal and good for the soul. Keep doing it; surely it will bring the best out of you.

NM said...

ETI:Its something we should definately all take part in. Strangly ETI i THINK i might have lots my fickle nature here, I am that special eh :) i wonder how i can claim on that, how about those lifts you used to give me? wink wink

Native: Its so much easier when your all by yourself, tell me about it native how about you pop on a plane and see me eh?

GF:Inshallah, its wonderful isn't it. I guessed if we prayed like we should we would be getting that 5times aday subhanallah

NATIVE FEMALE said...

If only things were that easy.....I would have been on the first plane!

Guess what....I talked to hoyo about it. Remember what we talked about....I finally became brave and overcame my fear. I did it without joking too!

Now make lots of dua....since you played a major part in it :D

Still missin u!

NM said...

Brave of you native!! well done love am soooooo proud. Making du'a for you will be such a pleasure inshallah :) awwww :)

white african said...

do you hear noises when your alone?

only kidding, its all good for the soul and we need it now and then, actually on a daily basis, we are supposed to do daily muhasabah on our actions of the day, helps with acknowleding our faults and wrongs and is a process of repentance as well as acceptance and being grateful.

jazaks for the reminder sis, walahi your great :)

NM said...

LOOOL! sometimes especially at night usually its some crazy egyptian calling for a maryam or an ahmed :)