Accountability

Yesterday I had to go to NEWPORT in Wales (never been to Wales so that was a plus) after having paid for my little brothers school trip to Granada we discovered that his passport was invalid and the nearest office which still had appointment was in Wales. I had to call work and change my working day so instead of sitting on my desk this Wednesday I spent it travelling. I spent over 6 hours on a train (I have to say the scenery was stunning) had to beg and plead for a day service, gave myself an ear ache because I could barely understand anyone. All that for the little rugrat who is not so little anymore, he is 14 years old now and almost taller then me.

Aside from that my accountant (Queen Nefetiti) has been giving me a painful ear bashing regularly about my finance or rather the lack of. Living with your self appointed accountant is difficult enough but when you share a room with her, Subhanallah.

So I have decided I am sick of being broke half away through the month and have handed my cash cards and cheque book over. I am having an expense sheet (or something of that nature) drawn up for me, so we can see what it is that I do with my money.

I am officially on a budget per week and if I run out I am on my own (theoretically that is, there are always the rest of siblings and my parents but NO I am going to overcome my spendthrift always. It’s an amana after all and the idea of having to account for every penny scares me witless because I know a large proportion of it would not have been spent in a beneficial way.

I don’t even know what I do with my money, I live at home, and I am not really a shopper, although I have a weakness or eating out and seeing the world. My current thinking is I have to fill in as much as possible now. Why I don’t know I can’t see my life changing but I am behaving like I am racing against a stop watch, almost as if I have to fit everything in before it’s too late. I am becoming deluded by the false believe in my own self sufficiency.

Back to a little joint decision making I think, you’re never too old for guidance and I need to give less priority to thrill seeking, I should really be dreaming about changing the world, improving my neighbourhood, seeking my parents pleasure, helping my loved ones, striving to better the ummah but all I am dreaming about is my next adventure!