Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Elevator ride with a difference

In a bid to lighten the mood and transcend the previous episode, I have found a list of

21 thing to do in an elevator ( the imagery alone is hilarious cow this is your you)


1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers thatthis is your "personal space."
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, allof you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air inthere?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then actembarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to callyou Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hearthe penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got newsocks on!"

18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motionsickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occassionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" andmove to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"

People you have to try some of these

9 comments:

lulu said...

That is much more like your old self.I am not sure am brave enough to try them out but in anyone does please share the experience!!!

Dee Nooh said...

u said 21 things not 50 , there is one thing that is missin from the list ..ahum ahum ..

if am with my cousin i just jump up and jump down to freak him out

NATIVE FEMALE said...

Dee: Double 21 add 8...then u get 50.

NM: This is more like it....

lostkitty said...

brilliant! I love these suggestios - lets go to posh business building and freak ppl out!
And they will be freaked out - cos we is hijabis!

NM said...

name the time and place and lets give this ago :)

white african said...

i have already tried the new socks one, people reacted by loking at my socks and then i announced that i had bought them from primark.

the last point number 50, we can so do that especially to men, it would work with us MOSLEMS...

number 45, im gonna do that at work forget the lift, next time my manager speaks to me im gonna act possessed yeh baby bring it on....

NM said...

LOL! you have to record his reaction for me or you have to do it while am there WA!!

dee noh i do the jumping up and down when am bored too, but so far its only been with people i know, they tend just to whack me :)

NF i was just testing your number skills ;0

Giddy a said...

Lol. They were hilarious, i can totally imagine u NM in stiches whilst reading them and i think ive witnessed u jumping in the lift whilst we were at uni!

Tc x x

Zawjatu Umar said...

LOL funny i'm too chicken to try any of those..