What if the Titanic sank today?

A friend (who shall only thus be referred to as curly Sue) with a very warped since of humour sent this to me, in fact I have a folder on my MSN titled funny emails and as a testament to this friend about 60 % of the emails which pass my stringent humour test (namely does it make me laugh) are from Curly Sue. Keep up the good word Curly Sue!

Reaction from different Muslims:

HT: "The ship sank because it used kufr navigation systems. Once the Caliphate is re-established, we'll build Islamic ships with Islamic navigation systems."

Barelwis: "Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jilani caused the ship to sink because the captain was a Protestant - you know: Christian Vahhabi."

Sufis: "What literalist nonsense! It's all an allegory. The ship represents intellect and reason. The water, tumultuos and consuming, is love. The victims are the neophytes and weak disciples, unable to bear the pangs of love, and so annihalated by the Beloved, and the survivors are the Sufis, the arrived gnostics, who have abandoned intellect for love, and swim in the oceans of restless passion. We are still trying to figure out what Kate Winslet represents."

Tableeghis: "Yeh Nuh alaihi-as-salaam ki kashti hai (TRANSLATION: this is Noah's ship - you see how we are accommodating for you gora converts as well, huh?). Whoever is on board is saved. Oh no wait a minute - we're 5000 years behind the times."

Salafis: "Where's the daleel that the ship sank akhee? Show me your evidences from Qur'aan and Sunnah."

Hope no one was offended ( If offended please foreward all complaints to Curly Sue, address will be give on request.)