Newsflash

All good muggings begin with a kebabish baby chicken! MD, Sarah and I happily decided to have a night out after MD finished work at 9pm. We left at 11pm and walked leisurly to Falafel to take some salad out for Herbi.

MD and Sarah walked me home and just before we got to my house we stopped at the bus as we chatted, at this point I was protesting loudly as I was getting teased. So there we stood, 3 girls, under a light bus shelter about 5 doors away from my house, feeling safe and content. When a lone scaly man walked past us on the other side of the street, looked at us we looked at him, didn’t think anything thing of it, turned back and continues our loud, jolly conversation when he crossed the road, pulled up his collar over his mouth and nose. Stood next to MD and said

“Give me your f*****g bag”

When MD, Sarah and I looked at him rather confused, not connecting the events and just looked at him blankly, when he repeated himself again loudly and moved towards MD looking dazed handed her bag over to him, I looked at him and said

“Are you serious?”

He took MD’s bag and walked off 3 paces or so then turned around (he must have realised there where another 2 girls with bags) and walked back to me and Sarah and repeated his favourite phrase

“Give me your f******g bag”

In which case I was getting annoyed and was coming out of my daze and turned to him, saying

“Are you for real?”

He grabbed my bag and for a while we shouted at each other and played a tug-of-war with my bag, he pulls me into the empty street, When MD started screaming and Sarah got on her phone to call the police and ran to the nearest house with lights on trying to alert the neighbours.

He started to become agitated because of the noise and the fact that our tug-of-war was detaining him. He looked around and panicked, kicking me in the ribs! I have no idea how, why or what possessed me but I made a fist and swung at his jaw! He blinked several times, looked around dazed and then pushed me with his arm on my shoulder, bruising my collar bone, which ticked me off again, he snapped the bag from my grip and started running, I ran after him and bunched him somewhere on his back, I continued running after him till he went around the corner, at that instance I came back to my sense and walked back to MD and Sarah.

To find Sarah on the phone to the police. The rest wrapped up quite quickly, we walked across to my house as the police told us to wait there! We came in and sat on the steps of the stairs ….and the rest is history…well tell we go to Police station on Monday and give our official statements that is.

At about 3 am I couldn’t sleep and Sarah called, we strangely had a really good laugh at the situation, its was hilarious! In a psychotic sort of hysterical way or so it should have been, there was even a time when we felt sorry for him, I mean the poor scaly didn’t bargain on 3 women who would make enough noise to walk everyone in the neighbourhood accompanied by an angry Somali who punched him and chased him, he went through of that and didn’t even end up with enough change for a joint so am informed!

My ribs and collar bone are bruised but it’s quite comforting to think that he might be taking painkillers too! I never really understood the need for a mahram when you’re in groups, but that scaly only saw 3 girls with bags! Food for though!