A dying world

The world has officially gone mad, the Muslim world that is! Not only do we have the longest list of occupied countries, countries in conflict, countries ruled by the worst that humanity has to offer, but now even in places where there was hope of unity an inkling of brotherhood appear to be falling apart under our stare.

I am struggling to take it all in, its breaking my heart. Palestine the olive of the Muslim world, the symbol of struggle against unimaginable aggression epitomized by the picture of a boy with a stone standing before a tank! Our symbol of struggle, What went wrong when did brother turn against brother simply because they come under the name of Fatah or Hamas! Now the Egyptian government is sending weapons to Fatah to be used against hHmas and surprise, surprise Israel has opened the border so that this can take place.

A little closer to home and Somalis are turning on each other AGAIN. Was it not bad enough when we simply slaughtered each other the first time? The South verse the North. And now it’s the struggle for power! What makes a brother take sides with an invading force?

Our problems as an Ummah have grown such that hope is all we have to hold on to. Allah says that we will not change the situation of a people until the people change within themselves. We have immense work to do! Each and everyone of us counts so lets get back to the basics so that our creator hears our du’as and enables us to live with the light and justice of Iman once more.

Awww....

I am so touched, I had moaned about my lost cookbook at work especially as I have been making progress in the feeding oneself department. Today I walked into work today to be handed a "beginners cook book". The team got together to buy me a replacement cookbook, how incredibly sweet and thoughtful is that!

In her shoes

The best vantage point for understanding behaviour is from the internal frame of reference of the individual.

Little toe

Too weeks of being on the early shift at work are finally starting to take its toll, especially as am making up for two weeks of doing the late shift, effectively meaning that I have not seen anyone other then those brave enough to drop by at my house. So for the past week and half I have been making up for the lack of social life, burning the candle at both ends as such.

Bearing in mind that I am incredibly tired, I made arrangements to meets Newbie and Liz yesterday but first maghrib was due so we made arrangements to meet at the MYF. I got to the myf bone tired, met Whitey’s dad on the way had a bit of a chat then made my way to the ladies area as isha was approaching.

I pulled of my boots, practically fell onto to the door which is incredibly heavy and while I was pulling on it I whacked by little toe. Which was incredibly painful so I screamed (how undignified), pulled the door and fell into the room, clutching my sock clad foot, hopping on one leg, pulling faces contoured with pain. And all this unwarranted exercise along with my 3jumpers of varying thickness made me feel hot so I started pulling of my coat and jumpers discarding them all over the floor till I could breathe.

Then I went to the wudu area, made wudu and prayed a very slow maghrib because I was so tired to only finish praying then realise by bag and clothes where on the other side of the room. It was an utter mess yet I really just didn’t have the energy to get up and collect them. I didn’t want poor unsuspecting woman walking into the room with my mess all over the floor. I was torn as to what to do and in the end I could only muster up enough energy to crawl across. So I collected a jumper and then carried on crawling to pick up my bag and the rest of my unassorted items. I got a hold of my bag only in mid crawl to realise that I had absolutely forgotten about the cctv camera in the room!

Oh my lord, I froze, I know the brothers who work in the MYF, and one of them is married of my friend!!! All I could think of was what did they see? What did they see? Oh god very slow version of my demented antics I must have temporally lost the ability to reason because instead of getting up composing myself and walking away I crawled backwards! Why? Walahi I don’t know I think somewhere in my beleaguered mind I must have though if I did it backwards I could have reverse the days events! How can I ever return?!

My Daddy

How can I write a piece to document the greatness of a 66 year old man. Its impossible to describe how much I love and respect my dad, I have stars in my eyes when I look at him the man is perfect in my eyes. He is all I could have hoped for as a father, as a wise friend as a permanent guardian.

Allah truly blessed us with a man who could take on the task of raising 6daughters and a son firstly in his native Hargaisa and then in his adopted mancheser. He raised us to think with our heads and our hearts. He taught us what it means to be a family and to love each other unconditionally, to be able to fight and bicker but make up in a few hours later. He taughts us about our creator and our Deen. He told us stories about a world in which Allah’s religion was upheld and practiced and made us long for it and wants to strive for it.

He tried his best to prepare us for this world and the next. We got dropped of at school early everyday and we were picked up by him everyday after. A constant pillar of wisdom and discipline, I never feared my daddy I feared his displeasure because he means so much to me. My daddy lived his life for our success not necessary in money or materialist things but our success as humans.

Having 6 daughters, living in a foreign country his worst fear has always been our welfare when he passes away. I remember my daddy very early on in my teens sitting me down and telling me that a father leaves his children 2things in this life, The deen and the means within which to look after themselves and since he wasn’t leaving us money he was leaving us with an educated, strong willed mind so that he could be confident that no matter what we could look after ourselves. He would never want us dependent on another human being.

I will never forget your gentle way of correcting my behaviour, of patting me on the head as your said “may allah grant your father paradise”. I will never forget you trying to teach me the value of time and at 22 am finally learning to be on time. I will never forget your reflective face or your vast knowledge, I will never forget the way you hum your istikhfar, or your love for the Qur’an. I will never forget the way you understood your responsibility as the head of the household, I will never forget the way you made us present our case when we wanted to do something you disagreed with instead of simply saying no! I will never forget the way that you love and respect my mother, your understanding of the worth of your woman. I thank you for making our childhood stable, we never feared that you or mummy would ever separate or divorce. We never saw you fight or disrespect each other, am sure you had almighty rows and fights but we never witnessed one! My friends say i live in a rainbow coloured bubble thats because my childhood was so special. Daddy you are the standard by whom I will judge the father of my children.

My father now a days likes to talk about being in his sunset years, According to him he is in his Maghrib years. He likes to remind us that death is inevitable and one day he will pass away. I can’t say I won’t be heart broken or cry for him but I am truly humbled by Allah’s blessing upon our household when he chose to grant us my daddy as our father. It is said true love never dies and my father will always be the one man I have loved above all men. After Allah and our prophet it most definately is you and my mother.

I LOVE YOU simply does not do justice as to how I feel about you! You have made me all that I am. I make du’a that Allah grants you a place in jannatual-firdaus amongst his most beloved, amongst his prophets, his martyrs, and the heroes of Islam because you are my hero.

Terminated

Hot of the press, my computer system at work has been defunct for 3days now. On Thursday when the problems started I thought it was heaven but occupying yourself in front of the computer purposelessly for 7.5 hours a day for 3 days is starting to take its toll.

Today is Monday and as usual the Monday blues are rampant and as it gets colder and colder its becoming more and more arduous. This morning I literally had to tip myself out of my bed and it was only the proceeding bump and subsequent pain of landing on my bag that woke me!

The beautiful bus journey was made even more exciting by getting stuck in traffic! Now that am on the early shift for the next 14days I have an immense amount of joy ahead of me every morning, bring out the voluminous books.

To then walk into work with a pass that isn’t working so I can’t access anywhere in the building. I approaching the reception area which doubles as the security hut I was …erm…how shall I put it surprised to find out that I have been TERMINATED! What on earth! Well apparently when someone leaves NTL their pass is terminated, So now that am an not actually working at NTL anymore my poor bereaved manager had to come down and vouch for me.

I finally made it into the building only to find out that my computer system that hasn’t been working is shockingly still not working, or rather acknowledging my existence. Oh joy.

The light of a day came in the form of my temporary contract coming to an end in a week and a half’s time. After I have another interview on Tuesday along with a few psychometric computer tests! The ultimate blow is that I will now be paid monthly!! Why oh why! Counting my pennies and turning the them into Egyptian curency in my head every friday is what ensures I actually get out of bed.

So to some up my Monday
The waking up almost killed me
The stupid bus almost killed me
NTL has terminated me
My weekly pay as well and truly been terminated

The systems are down at work today so I have been sitting on my desk surfing the net ;) while reading the news I found the following article and took part in the quiz

http://travel.guardian.co.uk/quiz/questions/0,,1959163,00.html

here is my result

" Well done eco-warrior. Climate Change and the environment are moral issues and you are obviously a very ethical person. Is your name Monbiot? Any greener and the sheep would be after you!"

I always new it! fight to have the air conditioning of whilest sharing with Newbie in egypt! see I was saving the world!!

take part people and see what your doing for the world

the system problems continue and my joy at doing Absolutly nothing also continues...ahaa

Career change

I feel the need to document another career change ( i wonder if it can be considered a change if i have not actually had a career as of yet...hmmm) well anyway it appears a regular change of direction is part of my personality OR maybe i just don't want a career. Nine to Five just doesn't suite me (cue Dolly Parton).

So i have decided to embrace my indecisive ways and revel in it. To hug my wayward ways and enjoy the fact that i can change my mind and explore my options as really there isn't any pressure from anyone to settle on something!!

so the career of the week is counselling! I am enjoying the fantasy of warping many poor unsuspecting individuals :) I am going to keep fills on ALL i know mwhaha ( is that ethical, if i have persmission i guess it is )

The grave yard shift+fraud

I am sat here on my desk debating which i prefer the early or the late shift. There isn't much of a debate, I feel deprived of my two way debate but i would take the early shift everytime. coming to work at 12 and leaving at 8 is so anti-social.

How do people conduct a LIFE doing these sort of shifts on a regular and long-term basis?! Seriously this must put strains on relationships. As much as I actually enjoy working with my lot i can't imagine being with them on the grave yard shift long term...urgh

OMG i just took a call and my manager thinks am a weirdo magnet already as i continuously get the weirdest calls or the most friendly people ( i think its my little girls voice) anyway I just had a guy call me and tell me that he wants me to take down some names of some people in the leicester area who are "chipping" NTL settop boxes.

I had to enquire as to what "Chipping" was and he said its basically messing with the set top box so that people receive all the channels available for free as Ntl can't detect it. He has give me names and address. I feel like a fraud investigator. The excitment won't last for long though i have to pass the information on to my manager.

I am going to bring down a massive crime ring mwahaha

ting a ling a ling

Blog already I keep hearing, what about I ask myself, I only write when am upset or deeply moved, or excited either way I have to have my threshold raised, I have to be inspired, I have to be driven to write something whatever it might be. Lately I have been very mellow and very routine oriented, much focused and this doesn’t lend itself very well to me blogging.

But I have had two very nice experiences this week, one the Islamic awareness week marquee at saint anne’s square. It was incredible, the exhibition, the calligraphy, the henna, the food, the dress around the world section. Isn’t it wonderful the way these things bring you back into contact with people you have not seen, some for years and some for weeks but either way were there is genuine affection and love its always a wonder and a joy to be reunited.

What is becoming our tradition inspired by THE NEWBIE a very English Sunday roast was under way at the flat when we have a call saying that there is photo journalist on the way, who wants to document European Islam a typical day then. He came, he saw and he said he will return. Watch this space, the website is www.islamophobia.org.uk.

Apart from that i have another week of work to look forward to but since the people am working with are hilarious its actually almost a pleasure. Other then that since am so mellow I have no rants, no deep philosophical ponders ( if there ever where any), no causes or rights to fight for, no radio calls to inspire a feminist streak…. Again am mellow and elated mood.

Working life

Ramadan is over, Eid has graced us with its presence and gone, I have settled into a work pattern, and the Egypt fund is looking rather healthy and on par with the 16week saving plan of which I have 11 weeks left!! Then its of with the coat, gloves and scarf but until then am freezing. I feel the gale winds of winter upon us my toes and fingers are well and truly loathing the cold already, plus what little summer tan I had picked up is quickly fading.

Ntl is hilarious, I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed work so much, other then the early mornings and ridiculous bus journey its great. My colleagues are such a funny bunch , they make me smile and the concept of team is so strong its beautiful. I can’t remember the last time I was so relaxed and happy in a work place. Maybe it’s the size of the organisation or maybe its because its so impersonal, we get along, we have fun and then we go home, there is absolutely nothing to dwell on.

Colleagues should be just that, people you work with, people who have a neat little compartment to fit into and this compartment should contains the following words
Impersonal ( no personal matters should enter the office)
Friendly ( but not close friends)
Professional (an understanding of the word and its relevant practice, but an air of being professional when in fact its anything but)
Procedures and regulations
Clear and unambiguous dealings
Fair and unemotional treatment
Family and friends should NEVER EVER work together

Ntl seams to be all this and more for me and because its so stress-free I have an incredible amount of energy, I am getting things done. I never realised just how much my energy levels depended on my emotional well being. Now that am content and relaxed my acquaintance with lethargy seems so far away.

I am writing this after my Arabic lesson , which consisted mainly of grammar so my head is somewhere else. But it is a fine example of my high energy levels, I woke up as 6 this morning to go to work now its 9pm and I have just finished my lesson.
Sometimes dispite what people may think is best for you, or how well the exit door maybe blocked only you can know what is good for you. Sometimes its just a change of scene but alhamdulilah I am very very pleased with my work place even if it’s only that for the next 11 weeks. I was talking to my friend who works in a Muslim organisation and its very sad when a muslim prefers a non-muslim work place to a muslim work place, very sad indeed.

Masjid crawl

This ramadan has been so full,its been brimming. i felt work was taking over and
i needed something more spiritual. i found out about the MYF qiyam on wednesday night and i wentfrom isha till fajr. It was so much fun seeing all the ladies in one place, qiyams are incredibly beautiful for so many reasons, the closeness you feel to Allah, the sincere lightness of spirit from all there, the fact that you see people you havn’t see since last Ramadan. ahhh that was the beautiful part the not so joyous part was that I had work the morning after and literally jumped on the bus just before sunrise to get to work and survive a full days work. How I managed to stay awake for 24hours only Allah knows.

Then on Friday night, round two arrived and we stayed in the MYF till 3am when the twin announced that Didsbury Masjid was completing the Qur’an in a couple of hours, WOW but more then that there is nothing quite like a Didsbury Du’a especially to mark the completing of the Qur’an. MD and I jumped in the twins car and of we went. it’s a joyous surprise when the Iman is reciting the Qur’an and you realise you know more surah’s then you think you do. The Du’a was lived up to the Didsbury expectation.

Then we left jumped back in the car and made it back to the MYF for Sehri, fajr and the Du’a. For some strange reason I feel like my Ramadan is over now, its probably because I can’t possibility top up these last magical couple of nights. Alhamdulilah now that I made up for the initial dip in the middle.

I wish It could be Ramadan everyday! But then the essence of Ramadan is to carry all the lessons we have learnt.

Beginner's cooking

Feasting on everyone else’s offerings was making me feel that it was about time everyone feasted on my offering. Cue “The Osborne beginner’s cookbook” and a very motivated Naima. The results:

Meatball in tomato sauce ( with peppers, onions, mixed herbs...) with pasta



fudgy apple crumble with custard.



I experiment on MD, Sarah and little AD. They lovvveeeeeeeed it, my worries about starving in Egypt are long gone. I am actually on a high, what an achievement. Next time am doing this on a much larger scale inshallah.

They might look rather simple but am so proud! my first meal

aahhh

Wow i have had another absoultely hectic week, but this time its because am training with NTL , subhanallah its so much fun, not because the training is not challenging (which it isn't) not because my follow trainees are simple (which they are) but because its just a nice, relaxing atmosphere and since virgin merged their outlook is if the staff are happy this will translate to good customer service which will translate itself to revenue.......blah blah.

What it means for me is i get spoiled, i have eid off if it falls on a monday, i can take the prayer room key from the reception when ever i wish and 2 of my follow trainees are soooo simple bless them that they make me smile.

The first week of the 6 weeks training is almost over and am loving it. Alhamdulilah NTL or the egypt fund as am terming it simply rocks.

The arabic lesson are coming along nicely ( my head still hurts) and iftar has been the most adventurous yet. we have had

libyan food
English food ( roast dinner)
good ole somali food
indian
italian

and thats all i can remember.

full plate

The headache that is getting prepared to applying for a pgce is immense, especially when you’re fasting, trying to save for 6 months in Egypt, spend quality time with family and friends, attend tarawih, iftaris, a 9 hour intensive Arabic course, go to school placements. Is it any wonder i am starting to get a tad stressed!

A full time job

My banker of a sister would be so proud, I sat down a while ago after booking my ticket for Egypt and calculated exactly how much I would need for my accommodation, course, living expenses and a few trips to Sinai and Aswan maybe luxor and so on.

Anyway was I was starting to become a little anxious that I might not be able to meet the amount that I need to save per week (16 weeks to go till I leave) but truly allah hears our du’a because out of the blue I just got a call saying I will be starting my new job this Monday and I will be training for 4 or 6 weeks which is beautiful because I won’t be straining myself during Ramadan.

I am so pleased, am getting excited about studying, Arabic, Tajweed, the Qur’an. Ahhh utter bliss Alhamdulilah, don’t you just wish it could be Radaman everyday of the year.

This also means I can help with Radio Ramadan more too inshallah, White African invited me, MD and Sarah to the show a week ago and our first show was so controversial, what did we cover I hear you asking… women being allowed in the masjid.

Yeah I know what made it controversial we simply don’t know, refer to White Africans report.

http://whitelibyanafrican.blogspot.com/

White African

Our white African has turned a quarter of a century yesterday , So Whitey ;) I found a little something which will inshallah go someway to describe how we feel about you.

A true gift from Allah

Sometimes in life,you find a special friend;
Someone who changes your lifejust by being part of it.
Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop;
Someone who makes you believethat there really is good in the world.
Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked doorjust waiting for you to open it.This is Forever Friendship.

When you're down,and the world seems dark and empty,Your forever friend lifts you up in spiritand makes that dark and empty worldsuddenly seem bright and full.
Your forever friend gets you throughthe hard times, the sad times,and the confused times.
If you turn and walk away,your forever friend follows.If you lose your way,your forever friend guides youand cheers you on.

Your forever friend holds your hand and tells you that everything is going to be okay.And if you find such a friend,you feel happy and complete,because you need not worry.You have a forever friend for life,and forever has no end.

You Whitey are our Forever friend. May ALLAH Always keep you with us! As native would say Much love homie

Tarawih

My current in-between-student like job or money earner for the egypt fund as i am calling it, is in the city centre. I was starting to panic about the possibility of missing Tarawih prayer but Alhamdulilah Allah being incredibly merciful, I walked into the MYF in town one tuesday and picked up an iftar time table to discover that at the back they were going to be open for Tarawih this year ( cue the heavenly music ahah ahhhhhhh).

So yours truely comes out of work at 9pm and within 3 minutes is in the MYF praying Isha and Tarawih in congression. I am so very pleased, the recitation is beautiful and the dua at the end of witra always brings tears to my eyes.

And all the time i am thinking INSHALLAH next Ramadan i will be standing here, but instead of listening to the melody of the imans voice and the sincerity that his tone conveys i will INSHALLAH be able to understand what i am saying Ameen to!

I really thought having to work such random hours during ramadan for egypt was going to be taxing but subhanallah its so easy and that is truely a blessing. I am so in love with Allah right now its filling my little sinner heart.

Please remember me in your dua's as i will

Unemployment & Ramadan

I would recommend a short period of unemployment to anyone. The sheer freedom, the joy not having to go to sleep early because you have work in the morning, the joy of being able to get up for tahajjud knowing that you can sleep in in the morning! Messing around with your friends and family?! Do I miss working erm….God no!!!! Role on the good time, role on.

Oh and I have decided at as a believer my word will be worth its measure in Silver ( am not a fan of the yellow stuff) so I have been writing all my engagements in my diary and doing my utter best to fulfil them. Today was such a test, I have 4 promises to fulfil and while out and about to fulfil 3 of those I got caught up in the rain, the buses were diverted and I have to walk throughout the rain, I was miserable but no way was I going to fail 3days into my self-development programme so I ploughed on and alhamdulilah I made it all ( I might have caught pneumonia in the process but hey)

No wonder Allah says Muhammed (SAW) came to perfect character, and the jihad of the nafs is the utmost jihad, May Allah (SWT) reward us for our efforts!

The Blessed month is upon us again and as usual it has come quickly but inshallah we shall make use of every single day. All power and might is to Allah who has blessed us with another month of Ramadan. I can’t wait for the feeling of peace and tranquillity for the hunger and thirst which makes you reflect for the opening of the fast with those that you love, for the genuine acts of kindness which are abundant during Ramadan, for tarawih, for the reciting of the Qur’an for the knowing smiles.

Elevator ride with a difference

In a bid to lighten the mood and transcend the previous episode, I have found a list of

21 thing to do in an elevator ( the imagery alone is hilarious cow this is your you)


1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers thatthis is your "personal space."
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, allof you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air inthere?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then actembarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to callyou Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hearthe penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got newsocks on!"

18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motionsickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occassionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" andmove to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"

People you have to try some of these

The sorrow of parting

I helped my littler sister move into her accommodation at Liverpool on Friday I was rather mean when she was exchanging goodbye hugs with my parents, I would drop a few words to remind her of their scarifies and struggles in brining her up. My mother carrying her for 9 months etc I succeeding to make her cry (Ifrah hates to be seen to cry)

After she whacked me a few times with her bag we boarded the car and started the drive towards her new home for the next 3 years. We got lost but eventually made it Alhamdulilah. During the journey we had a chat about her expectations and her fears (poor love was scared) understandably and rather bitter towards Manchester for not offering her radiotherapy course.

We arrived, dumper her stuff and when along with her best friend (the ever entertaining Asia) to get some food. Hmmm I didn’t warm to the city, it can’t possibly compete with Manchester I mean this is a city with one Masjid (poor ifrah) and being such a coconut am sure it wont help that the Masjid is in somali central (about time she socialised me think)

Friday night came and to both our horror ifrah Forgot to bring her Duvet and pillows…At first we laughed about it but my the time fajr came and the aches and pains of sharing a single bed without a pillow not to mention the unbearable heat radiating from the sleeping bag we used as a cover, I cracked and took my sleeping bag to the floor providing ifrah with jackets as a cover.

Saturday was emergency shopping day and all praise to the lord ,TJ Hughes was situated around the corner. Then it was food shopping and by out 4pm we were introduced to the most corrupt muslimah we have ever met. Ifrah has the misfortune of sharing a flat with poor ifrah.

By 6pm while ifrah and I had taken refuge in ifrah’s room from the erm…Muslimah who was encouraging us to go clubbing later on…while putting her bottle of wine next to ifrah’s orange juice and introducing us to her boy friend (ahhhhhhhh….poor ifrah)

Ahamdulilah by 9pm a decent muslimah arrived who was just as daunted as ifrah by the trauma of moving away (a budding friendship of need ensued). By Saturday 11pm Ifrah was adamant she was coming back with me on Sunday and changing course, after about an hour of crisis management she had managed to suck up her fears and got down to making du’a for Allah to provide her with good company.

My Sunday morning we learnt that one of the girls was moving out (unfortunately not the alcohol gosling muslimah) and that a Malaysian sister is moving in. Ifrah has a very high opinion of Malaysians and is now making Du’a that the sister is practicing.

Make dua for my baby sister ( when I had to leave her at the train station, from the train I saw the tears forming on her little face and that broke my heart, I cant imagine how my parents must have felt as she boarded the car to leave. I can honestly say It was the first time I have ever carried on a train but thank god the man next to me was asleep. They say you never appreciate your parents till you have children of your own. Lets just say I appreciate them a little more now that my baby sister is out in the big wide world all alone. May Allah grant my parents jannatual Firdaws and provide ifrah with a solid group of Muslim sisters Please make dua for her.

Cairo or Alexandria

When ever I think I have weighed up my options and come to a conclusion. I change my mind (typical of my decision making process) but I wish I could just settle on a city in which to study.

Cairo is… well Cairo, there is a romanticism about studying in such a bustling city. The city of a thousand minarets, the home of Azhar Masjid and university, the citadel of Salahadin, Khan el khalili and on the other hand we have the pyramids, the sphinx of Giza. So I guess with Cairo I would have an incredible source of Islamic history to draw inspiration from and the excitement of living in one of the most populated cities in Africa

Alexandria, for one of the great wonders of the world it doesn’t actually have much to show for it although currently there some excavations taking place. But one thing Alexandria has is water (one of my single most important requirements for tranquilly). I would clearly be able to view the sunset and sunrise from my window and when the fancy took me sit on the beach reflecting and learning some vocabulary. This in itself has a strong since of romanticism as well.

I guess the choice ultimately comes down to which I value more at this point, excitement or tranquilly, the hassle and bustle of Capital city life or the quieter (more) authentically Egyptian way of living. The Nile or the Mediterranean Sea.

I suppose if I felt the need for Cairo I could always jump on the train (apparently first class is only a few pounds, starling)

At this point it would appear I am leaning towards Alexandria. Too much choice can be just as daunting as too little choice. Insha Allah Khayr

Amazing? odd more like

I have been tagged by Native female to come up with 10 amazing facts about myself... good god it has been a trying test but since MD who i thought would never get around to hers has well and truely beaten me to it.

Here is my rather revealing and somewhat embarrassing list

1) I almost always see the funny side to a situation, the knowing twitch of an angry person or the compulsive stroking of the head when one is stressed or the erratic hand gestures of an excited person. I notice these individual express so well that sometime I will mimic someone for a lengthy period and see how long it take for them to notice ( such a cheap thrill).

2) I have a very high threshold for embarrassment, I am one of the first to laugh at myself and probably the last (comes from years of practice)


3) I have a knack for walking into the most unexpected situations but alhamdulilah I can almost always get myself out of a situation. ( again years of practice).My decision making is so erratic and unpredictable that even those who are close to me find it difficult to keep up with me.


4) I have no qualms about showing affection, I tell my family and friends I love them often and give them hugs abundantly. In this vain I reinforce and reaffirm personal qualities and attributes.

5) I make friends very easily when I put my mind to it, (mainly because am blessed with a sense of humour) but I sometime especially in very temporary situation I calculate if the energy is worth the friendship and if not then I almost undergo a personality transplant and become introspective to keep myself occupied ( rather disturbing I know)


6) I can do numerous things all of which are not necessary for survival ( basically I can’t cook) and I loath shopping ( but I can last a few hours of ceaseless wondering from shop to shop if you ply me with abundant chocolate and the shops have somewhere to sit. Strangely though I can spend hours looking for the right present)

7) I am addicted to travelling and a certain urge overtakes me after a while and I need to take of to realign and feel centred sometime just a change of scenery is necessary ( my poor parents and any future spouse)


8) I have perfected the art of tea making and have an excellent memory for how everyone likes their tea (probably because it’s all that anyone ever asks me to make.

9) I am an obsessive thinker, I will spend aeon cataloguing all the possible consequence that an action will incur and then weigh them up. Although sometime I allow my heart to rule my head and I will do something despite my better judgement or what the cost to myself because a principle is at stake. Probably the primary reason why people ask for my advice.


10) I am easily impressed any acts of kindness, ny new sights and sounds and
Sometime almost literally I loose myself in the place and experience behaving as if I were a kid in a sweet shop. This can lead to me talking and answering myself (yes I know…?)

I can’t imagine what I have missed out accept am an incessant talker but a great listener too (comes with being a middle child me thinkth) I am imbued with energy and I walk with a spring in my step I bob up and down noticeably as I walk. I am rather blunt with those am close to but very tactful with those I am not, I am ridiculously easy going and can cope with almost anyone.(again middle child trait me thinkth)

I am going to stop now! enough said

WA i am waiting for your list.

I tag LostKitty, Cow (jug and evertheidealist along with flowerlady are an absoulte lost course when it comes to blogging so

WA, Lostkitty and Cow its up to you

Hi-larious

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zR24vl1FLm8

Mistake

Damn, don’t you just hate it when retrospectively you wish you had done something differently and although now it seems to your mind almost painful that you took that course of action and you ask yourself?

“What on earth possessed you?”

But at the time as hard as it was it seemed like the only thing you could do. There in lies the beauty of learning from your mistakes I guess.

Although how you judge something as being a universal mistake I am not sure. Just because a particular method didn’t work in a particular situation doesn’t not mean that the actual approach is wrong maybe just that it was wrong for that particular situation.

Which then complicates the “beauty” of learning from your mistakes? Or maybe am just desperately trying to stave of a wave of cynicism that is upon me like a black cloud bringing immanent mancunian rain.

God bless the Flight Centre

I walked into the flight centre with MD just to get a few quotes to work with. As
my usual sources of cheap tickets were failing me miserably and i was getting ridiculous quotes for Cairo which were heart breakingly expensive

So when the consultant at the flight centre looked at his computer and said NM British airways is having a sale which ends today at 6pm the ticket is...... basically £100 less then all the other quote our system is showing up (concurrent with the ridiculous qoute i was finding)

the only down side being you have to book your ticket before 6pm or it jumps back up. ermm let me think about that....NOT so I handed over my card and brought my ticket and to add to the sweetness of this ticket am going from manchester to london to cairo so no painful waits in any eastern european countries!!!!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Its official inshallah i am off on the 26 of jan and i return on the 14 of july. The last two weeks i am going to be joined by the ladies and we are going backpacking around egypt!!

I can't believe the deal and the way i just woke up and thought it was any other ordinary day!!

Alhamdulillllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Winds of change

The winds of change have taken residence in our household. All this because a certain sibling has done fantastically well in her A-levels (yippy) and is now of to study at Liverpool for the next 3 years (absolute pants).

My other baby sister, has also done fantastically well in her GCSE’s and is about to start her A-level.

I have made a few lives changing decisions of colossal proportions since I last blogged. Here they are:

One: I have handed in my resignation at work.
Two: I have decided to study Arabic in Egypt, starting in January (5months inshallah)
Three: I have decided that from sept 2007 I will be open to marriage proposals and actually consider them.
Four: I have taken up knitting (due to jughead) and with what I have learnt so far I can make winter scarf. Any one interested?

Oh and as always to mark a change in the world of Naima I am once again moving bedrooms since Ifrah is of to Liverpool Firdawsa and I will become roomies and study partners.

It’s with glee that I am planning the redecoration of what will be the hub of Firdawsa and I’s new centre of learning and of course partying.

From September I will be working mad hours trying to save enough for my planned 5 months in Egypt INSHALLAH, as well as trying to learn as much Arabic as possible during the weekends and mentoring in a school to gain teaching experience

Ramadan is going to fall in the middle of all of this! A sheer test of endurance am sure but inshallah the reward will be greater then last year.

Bosnia!! Well what can I say? Lots I assure but Mad cow has been keeping semi typed notes which she promises to post soon I will post a link to our memories then inshallah.

Suffice to say it was incredible and the sheer number of tears I shed the last night is testimony to how much I loved the place and the people. May Allah grant us the opportunity to meet again. AMEEN!!

Farewell (for now)

I don’t know what’s over come me but am sat here looking up first aid instructions, sipping a mug of coffee and making a mental list of the presents am going to take to our Bosnian hosts you would think that would be an easy job but am running low on inspiration. A last minute dash tonight on my way home I think, if it really is the thought that counts then they can revel in the knowledge that I have been thinking about what to get them for days now. Inshallah Khayr

I am debating about whether to pop into the MYF and say my salam’s to the usual crowd or run home and have a hot bath. Aside from all of these thoughts that are preying on my mind, there is one thought or emotion rather; I am brimming with love for all those am leaving behind. I usually just pack the last minute take off and return, but this time around its not a quick 3days work trip it’s a lengthy stay, that’s two jummahs that I won’t be prostrating at the MYF.

For someone who wants to travel and go from one adventure to another, I am really going to miss you all. I vaguely remember reading somewhere that the prophet (SAW) said if you love your brother then tell him.

I leave you with lots of Love and the du’a of the traveller for those she leaves behind

“I leave you in the Care of Allah, as nothing is lost that is in his care”

We leave just after fajr tomorrow and return on the 21st of august inshallah

Tell I return, farewell mis amigos

ITN

When I woke up this morning all was well except that I was running a tad late. By about 12pm I was informed we would need to take part in an ITN interview, by 4pm I had done the ITN interview along with Genie (sleepyhead, jug). It’s viewing this afternoon at 6.30pm on channel 3. I am hiding tell people forget!!

World currency

I went to the future seminar held at Didsbury Masjid this Sunday instead of packing for Bosnia (looks like its going to be a last minute thing) and all the talks were fantastic and Shabir Ally did an excellent job of raising funds for the CCIS. After the large figure donations were collated the buckets came around, and since am not carrying my cards around anymore (learning to curb by spendthrift ways) I only had my bus pass and some change, the change I had already spent on food so by the time the buckets came around to us, after frantically fishing in the numerous pockets of my bag I had located

8 pence
25 cent
2 fronts (Hungarian currency)

So that’s what I gave to charity! This not carrying my Cards business really does have its down side. I must admit I did feel rather embarrassed and released the change from my grip at the bottom of the bucket. Not sure what this says about me except I can’t wait till I learn to use my money appropriately and I am able to walk around with cash and cards so as hopefully to never repeat this episode. The only plus is that my mum thought it was hilarious and said something to the effect of that will teach you… teach me what am not too sure, maybe to prepare

How I love thee

Oh man, I had a dream about Egypt last night, Cairo to be exact! It was beautiful, I dreamt about the death defying taxi rides, the call of the muezzin calling the faithful to prayer, sitting in the court yard of Azhar masjid, the serenest of masjids I have ever been blessed to spend time in.

Particularly Islamic Cairo where everyone greets you with a heartfelt salaam. The view from the hotel, the staff who would try to teach us Arabic but never showed their frustrations at our inability. The wedding we accidentally stumbled onto as we walked into the Hilton to change money which was characterised by the sound of the drum and ululations of joy at their union.

I woke up with a cold, feeling miserable and blocked up and I wanted to cry! How is it possible to miss a mere place so much a year later to be so bewitched and captured. To have it hold on to your affections and imagination a year after returning home? We where only there for 14 days for the love of God, how is it possible to miss and long for a place so much when all my loved ones are here?

I miss the

The lulling effect of the Nile
The death defying taxis
The crossing the road with “Bismillah” just in case
The hospitably and sincerity of the locals
The cementing of life long friendships
The hypnotising call to prayer, especially for fajr
The brother’s unique way of making you buys 10 items when you went to the stall/shop for 1 item.
Tje haggling over a cup of mint tea

I need to go back and get Egypt out of my hair, I am sick with love (okay manly with a cold) for the country and the people.

We plan and Allah plans

Isn’t it strange how the most ordinary of arrangements can end up changing the life’s of so many! Take the instance of a sleep over, how many of those did I plan and carry out while on my annual leave, a good few but the last sleep over a few days ago ended up being a wake over! There was absolutely no sleeping.

The bradfodian and I stayed up till 8am discussing everything under the sun and her interest in becoming a Muslim and after a lot of talking, tears and hugs at 8am in my bedroom my bosom buddy took her Ashahaddah and in front of a very sleepy group of 3 witness proclaiming her faith with the same words that we have used for the past 1400 years!

“I bare witness that there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad is his messenger”

Subhanallah, we plan and Allah plans but untimely we realign ourselves with his plans.

Gap year extended

What’s new?

First and foremost it is beautiful not having a purpose takes me back to school summer holidays.

Secondly shuls and md are of to Egypt for 5 weeks or so we though until they called the airline and found out that they are not in fact coming back on the 24th but the 28th the lucky little so and so.

Thirdly I finally went to see the careers advisor to discuss my masters ( or rather the lack of application) and she informed me that doing an MEd before my PGCE is not such a good idea especially as if am going to be working in a special school, the school will pay for my training.

Fourthly this means my masters saving are mine to do with as I wish! So being Naima here is the plan inshallah. Which since I am so flick (According to MD) will mean that you lot will have to keep me to them.

Learn to drive
Go Egypt (intensive Arabic course) XMAS time
Europe (City) hopping
Keeping the rest loose

Yippy yippy yippy… The gap year has been officially extended…

Bananas , laughter, holidays

Bananas contain an amino acid (Tryptophan) which is used in the body to make mood enhancing chemical serotonin! A banana anyone?

The power of laughter

“Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they will never cease to be amused"
Laughing release hormones which makes us HAPPY! Apparently there are laughter clubs popping up all over the UK.

Talking about Happiness

"Laughter needs no reason.
A smile needs no reason.
Love needs no reason.
Kindness needs no reason.
They are gifts for free -life’s true treasures."


Holidays
Today after a very long scouts AGM will be the beginning of my “official” summer holidays form work! What am I going to go with myself since my Arabic in Egypt plans have fallen through, Christmas period instead inshallah.

I am keeping my plans lose but this is what I will be up to

Weddings (summer eh, what’s wrong with getting married in the winter, spring, autumn??)
Reading (lots and lots of books)
Gallivanting (any suggestions)
House parties (Ifrah and my mum have my sister’s house to ourselves till September…)

There is no point to this blog except pointing out to a certain White African the lofty position of the humble fruit that is the banana and that am FREE for two weeks! Cue the pyjamas, the lie ins, the lazy days, the sleep overs (sigh sigh) utter bliss Alhamdulilah

Accountability

Yesterday I had to go to NEWPORT in Wales (never been to Wales so that was a plus) after having paid for my little brothers school trip to Granada we discovered that his passport was invalid and the nearest office which still had appointment was in Wales. I had to call work and change my working day so instead of sitting on my desk this Wednesday I spent it travelling. I spent over 6 hours on a train (I have to say the scenery was stunning) had to beg and plead for a day service, gave myself an ear ache because I could barely understand anyone. All that for the little rugrat who is not so little anymore, he is 14 years old now and almost taller then me.

Aside from that my accountant (Queen Nefetiti) has been giving me a painful ear bashing regularly about my finance or rather the lack of. Living with your self appointed accountant is difficult enough but when you share a room with her, Subhanallah.

So I have decided I am sick of being broke half away through the month and have handed my cash cards and cheque book over. I am having an expense sheet (or something of that nature) drawn up for me, so we can see what it is that I do with my money.

I am officially on a budget per week and if I run out I am on my own (theoretically that is, there are always the rest of siblings and my parents but NO I am going to overcome my spendthrift always. It’s an amana after all and the idea of having to account for every penny scares me witless because I know a large proportion of it would not have been spent in a beneficial way.

I don’t even know what I do with my money, I live at home, and I am not really a shopper, although I have a weakness or eating out and seeing the world. My current thinking is I have to fill in as much as possible now. Why I don’t know I can’t see my life changing but I am behaving like I am racing against a stop watch, almost as if I have to fit everything in before it’s too late. I am becoming deluded by the false believe in my own self sufficiency.

Back to a little joint decision making I think, you’re never too old for guidance and I need to give less priority to thrill seeking, I should really be dreaming about changing the world, improving my neighbourhood, seeking my parents pleasure, helping my loved ones, striving to better the ummah but all I am dreaming about is my next adventure!

A friday in Hungary

One of the Italian partners had a call from Italy informing him that his mother in law and father were both ill (bless him) so they had to leave early on the second day which meant that our Friday meeting was caught short to about 12pm instead of 4pm

Cue the sight seeing! Hayak being the ever resourceful woman that she is learnt from a conversation with Adam Raul that he was an international tour guide ( ideas, ideas) then he offered to spend the day with us being our guide cue the grins of gratitude).

But before we went sight seeing with Adam Raul the other Adam ( visually impaired) took us to the Hungarians partners office and while we lead us ( never been lead by a blind man before) he gave us an very well informed tour till we got to the building. Very surreal experience

We went sight seeing with Adam Raul he took us around Budapest and these are some of the sights we saw, absolutely beautiful



Buda castel The chain bridge Fisherman's Bastion

Just to make the experience really magical on the first night we arrived walked along the river Danube and pass the parliament building there was a little restaurant in which we sat in for about 3 hours recovering from the never ending walk. We met a Norwegian couple who gave us some advice about where to go and what to do. One of the place was a restaurant near the Buda Castle, they said I was a magical little place to go and the music there had been playing for over 25 years.

We were starving by 8pm and wondered into a restaurant near the Castle and to our delight there was a Romany band duo ( violin and drums), when I asked how long they had been playing for it was a long shot but when the waiter said 25 years I thought FANTASTIC.

I have never had a Romany gypsy play me a Hungarian folk song with a violin while Adam Raul sang for us. What an experience and a great way to complete a wonderful trip.

Hungary notes

Note: We left for Budapest slightly apprehensive, it didn’t help that neither of us are linguists and when you find out that Hungarian is like no other European language… lets just say we were more then prepared for getting lost. But alhamdulilah we were well taken care of, every time we though we didn’t know where we where going or were confused someone would pop out of the blue to help us. Be it the hotel staff, Adam Raul, Adam, the Libyan brother at the underground, the officer at the tram station, the host etc. It didn’t help matters that I broke something in every country we went through.

In Budapest I broke a beautiful long flute like glass that I was drinking from, the whole restaurant seemed to have stopped to look at me. In Amsterdam I was in a duty free shop (it didn’t help that I was carrying 3 bags on one shoulder) when I knocked over a kettle and broke that too! I stood there waiting to take responsibility for ages, no one seemed to care.

Hungary first 2days

The position of the letters on this Hungarian key board are very odd indeed and its tomorrow already. we have been in Budapest for 2days, it feels like we have have been here for a lot longer, squeezing so much into such a short trip is exciting, your senses are constantly assulted, your alert and the anticipation making you do ridiculous things like walk around for hours purposlessly

I am falling asleep while feeling really giddy and this key board is really starting to annoy me, very time i try to type a y it is replace by a z...

what have we done, well aside from the work aspect which is facinating, we have met some really inspirational people. Adam, is one of the most knowledgable people we have ever met, this brother is a fountain of knowledge, a lawyer, ridiculously mobile, independent, great sense of humour oh and he is blind

We visited "the Hungarian womens association" their presendent, is a profound women, full of wisdom and drive, a former machanical engineer, a visionary, a natural leader oh and she is 76.
This trip has made me and Hayek realise just how much history we dont know. These people could easily act like tour guides, they know their country. We need to rectify this.

We were invited to dinner by the president of the Hungarian partners. He lives in obuda the older part of buda. Walahi the view was like nothing i have ever seen before and to make it even more memoriable i was having a profound conversation with another Adam, Adam Raul, on the necessity for believe and practice in faith and how one without the other is empty. We talked about the hijab, about the 5 pillars, about having a personal relationship with God.

The cheese here is sooooo nice, we had what looked to be a simple cheese and tomato sandwich but it was so tasty Hayek and i were contemplating put a few in our bag for later, it was reallz tempting. Interesting fact, cheese here is called Syat thats pronounced Shyt.

we are going to go sightseeing tomorrow, might go on the tourest bus which is pink and is called the barbie bus. First on the list is castle uria.

pre-Hungary visit

My week is about to change dramatically, I have semi packed for the gender discrimination study group I am on. I am delighted to point out that Hayak has joined the Group and I will no longer be going of to uncharted foreign lands by my lonesome. The visit is from Wednesday to Saturday so I will be back for the party in Arabic (a must)

To prepare for the study visit other then the necessary gathering of information I had enlisted Native female’s sister to braid my hair! She did an excellent job so much so that my head feels really light and airy. Weightless almost and there wasn’t a battle with the curly mass this morning. What does it look like, the best picture i could find to illustrate how tiny and intricate the braids are is this (any brothers reading this you continue at your own peril!)


Warning!! Warning!! Alicia keys doesn't wear a hijab.





Although while in Hungary am predicting a lot of getting lost and a lot of confusion. Why? Well I looked up a few SOS phrases so we can get by while one our own and the introductory paragraph

To the phrases reads like this

“You will instantly recognise that Hungarian is like no other language you have ever seen or heard before. In fact, it is not even an Indo-European language.”

Here are a few phrases


Pleased to meet you. - Örülök hogy megismerhetem.
I don't speak Hungarian. - Nem tudok magyarul.
Hi - Szia / Szervusz
Please - Kérem
Thank you - Köszönöm

Eh oh, doh, opps… ahhhhh watch this space, I have an feeling that there will be a lot to blog about when we come back, if we come back...

Journey to work

Got on the bus
Water started leaking out on to my lap!
Doh
water bottle wasn’t closed properly
Spent whole journey from south Manchester to city centre drying my lap, bag and its contents
Got of bus semi dry, mp3 players firmly on ears listening to Dauwd wharsnby ali’s widom and tea.
started walking towards the bus stop for the second bus from the city centre to north Manchester.
When some weirdo mumbles something to me, I can’t hear so I take of my headphones and ask him what he said
I wasn’t prepared for this!
The weirdo informed me that we catch the same 2 buses and he has noticed me on the phone a lot (looks like my dad description of me being glued to my phone might be correct!)
He has sat next to me a couple of times but I always have my mp3 player on, reading the news, reading a book or speaking on the phone ( it’s a boring journey.) so he felt he couldn't say hi.
We got to the second bus and the weirdo decides to sit next to me! Despite the Whole bloody bus being almost empty and proceeds to tell me about how he has been to Somalia yada yada (no he is not Somali).
Then he asks a lot of probing questions about my route home, where I work, what my working days are! (Little freak, like I was going to tell him)
The climax of weirdness came when I was reading the paper intently trying to zone him out and he turns to be saying, your bus stop is next!
For the love of God, I need to learn to drive and stop being so conspicuous ( I seriously might consider wearing all black to work!

The dangers of Nm

I have you ever wondered, how you started off doing something with the best of intentions and to better another’s life and continued that way but along the line you misunderstood the dynamics of A relationship and shared something with someone about that person in a jokey way because in your mind they were so close that the other obviously knew!

Doh!!

And although in your mind it was so minor that you thought a simple apology would do because if the shoes were reversed you would have taken it with a pinch of salt and thought , oh that’s okay, no big deal! (A fantastic example of how we as humans have different references point)

But instead of the expected reaction, this person is and has kept a grudge!! An almighty one to that extent that you don’t even get a SALAM anymore, and wait for it not even if I initiate it!! I mean come on for the love of God what must a person do (i.e. try to run over your mum) for you not to respond to their salam! (These things just don’t happen in my world)

And to make it just that bit more interesting they are convinced that you betrayed their trust! That you’re a core of evil and given the opportunity you would corrupt all because your so well versed in the art of manipulation that you have managed to deceive everyone into thinking that your some innocent and genuinely nice person, however because they have seen through your deceptive ways they are now immune and can see you for the evil, scheming, deceptive woman that you are! (The brother obviously has gender issues!)

Sounds like a bad novel in the making eh! I am not sure whether to smile at the comical value or be concerned by it! I think Sarah is right I really do live in a bubble; this is going to turn into one of those

“I haven’t spoken to so and so for about 10 years situations!” (Why is it always 10 years anyway?). I think that’s simply strange, what ever happened to 70 excuses?! It’s so sad

And so for the first time in my life someone thinks am a core of evil and should come with a label, I can’t be trusted, I have devious and menpulative ways of getting what I want…yada…yada !

I have got over trying to understand him though, sometime you just have to accept that people have different ways of seeing the same situation even if by your standards it would seem extreme and in someways rather worrying! I have even wondered if its an ethnicity thing! which make me feel uncomfortable because then am questions my core belive that we are all the same and culture isn't such a big deal!

I have deliberately put this person on my Du’a list because I remember once Sheikh Salem telling us that if you have bad thoughts about a brother or sister you should make dua for them because it protects you! Well since I would love to grab his head and stick it in the toilet and flush the toilet while his head is in it several times till he apologises I think he deserves a place in my dua’s.

May Allah enable us to all see the best in each other and truly become brothers and sisters Ameen

Small world

A certain Bradfodian and I went to Piccadilly train station to make a few enquires, as we stood in front of the enquires booth in the middle of the station (chatting and oblivious to our surroundings) a deep, booming, masculine voice said,

“Salam Naima”

I looked at sarah, just to make sure she heard the same thing and then slowly turned to the direction of the voice, only to see the biggest Black man I have seen in a long time, and by big I don’t mean Somali tall, I mean tall and broad, Huge is the word, partially wearing what looked like a navy uniform, something about sharks on the logo!!!

I strained my neck looking up and when I finally looked up at his face, the man was smiling down at me; there was something familiar about his smile and face. Then while Sarah and I looked on with eyes wide and a mock smile on our faces, the voice says

“How are you, how is the family?”

By now I am thinking OH MY GOD they know where I live! (the military that is!!) And in a non-genuine and slightly wobbly voice I said

“I am fine, the family are fine alhamdulilah”

When I finally mustered up the courage to ask the brother who the HELL he was, what he wants and how he knows my family… it dawns on me, I know the brother! In fact I have seen him lots of times just not in the past 4YEARS!!

He is my uncle’s best friend’s nephew (such an ethnic relation) and he is supposed to be on a ship somewhere as part of the Norwegian navy, not wondering around in a Manchester train station!

What a small and strange world

untitled

Difficulty upon difficulty!

Headache upon headache!

Decisions upon decisions!

Trust

Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility upon him, and to let him know that you trust him.

The beautiful game

Yes YEs YES!!! The world cup is finally here, am so excited it’s the best sporting event in the world. I think work should make special provisions for people to watch the morning game!

It only takes place every 4 years!

I am sooo saddened by the fact that Senegal didn’t qualify this year...nOOOOOOOOOO

To stay or not to stay...

The unexpected Sheffield stop of is turning into a long affair! My uncle wants me to stay over tonight because we haven’t had time to catch up yet! Since I haven’t left the house other then to sit in the back garden, to top up my tanJ I can’t be blamed for the lack of time I have spent with him

My uncle is one of the most interesting people I know and I can talk to him about anything so it’s understandable why I would love to stay up all night and talk with him.

And he has promised to drop me of at the train station in the morning as I have work tomorrow but after the London fiasco; I am having images of walking into work at 9:15 am instead of 9am which I really don’t want to!!!! I have just about managed to close that chapter.

But then again I could always book a taxi if my uncle is being his usual laid back self! It would also give me more time to stare out of the window /sit in the garden and reflect. I am in a very introspective mood all the greenery is helping me reflect and listen to my inner voice…

Beenish is here and we have been trying to quantify this year, how we have grown and our priorities changed, we can pin point some of the change because we can see it in each other but some aspects we can’t.

This really has been a year of change, a crash course in so many things for both of us! I feel different, less confused, surer of myself and wiser, I know my own mind, I am learning to identify my weakness and work on them. One of them is taking my own advice, listening to myself and acting upon it. Intention without action is rather empty!!

Another thing I have learnt is that I don’t take risks with my emotions, I have never had to. There is a first time for everything, have you ever felt an immense rightness about an action because you’re imbued with the knowledge that no matter what happens its all good Alhamdulilah.

Meetings&family

I am supposed to be in London for a scout’s regional meeting but am stranded in Sheffield! What happened?

FAMILY!!!

My lift to London (my uncle) is visiting his friend and despite reassuring me that he would drop me off at the meeting on time when I offered to take the train! To top this of i forgot my contact case in manchester and i sat on my glasses a while ago so am sat here practically glued to the TV because I can’t see very well, having my hair straightened (by my cousin) and waiting for the England v Paraguay game!

My auntie is insisting that she is going to teach me to make dinner, am actually looking forward to it my aunties is an amazing cook mashallah! mmmmmmmmmm

They moved home and this is the first time i have seen the new house! the view ppl, all i did last night was sit on hte sofa watching the view through the massive window! I didn't realise how much i missed them till now, definately going to make this a regular thing again!

OMG!!!

Micheal Own just scored

go to go!

Fletcher moss park

This Friday, Sarah had heard from her housemate that Didsbury has amazing botanical gardens and while it wasn’t kitcheners botanical l island in Luxor (Egypt) it was beautiful! The usual suspects are growing there where 5 of us this week, with Native female and MD who although was immersed in a novel was at least physically there for the whole day, unlike me who had to change her plan to go to London for a scout regional meeting to instead going to Sheffield with a 2 hour notice!

The Sri lanken strikes again

Not only have I been mugged, traumatised, injured and been forced to miss a friends wedding on saturday, missed Arabic on sunday and had to spend hours upon hours in a police station being probed mercilessly about the mugging!

To add insult to injury literally, instead of a few caring words of concern from my colleagues as I returned to work today, a certain Sri lanken, has started questioning the legitimacy of my having had Monday of work!! Subhanallah,

Longdendale trail

The day after the mugging Sarah and I decided (along with MD who we couldn’t locate in the end, as she was phone less) we would go out and keep the Friday tradition untainted by the mugging experience. So went to Piccadilly and asked one of the attendants if he knew anywhere near by for us to go on a day trip.

He draw us a map, cut across the queue for us and issued us tickets and took us to the platform. It was lovely especially with a rather bleak view of the world that morning very endearing.

This place we recommended was Hadfield, which is in the peak district and has the Longdendale trail which apparently was the location of “the league of gentleman”.
Amazing picturesque place even if for some strange reason there were a lot of chav’s about that day and since our mugger was a chav Sarah and I were a tad weary at certain points.

Especially when we found ourselves about a mile and a half into the trail and as far as the eye could see we couldn’t spot a single human being. This lead me to point out that for two people who were mugged last night, it could be perceived as brave or just pure recklessness. This
earned me a whack for my morbid imagination.

We got home about 9pm (earlier then the day before) and as I crawled into bed I got a harsh lecture from my mum about my recklessness! I went to bed well chastised, tired and ribs which hurt like hell. But the scenery and the since of control over my own life (which the little loser had me questioning!!!) was well worth it.

Newsflash

All good muggings begin with a kebabish baby chicken! MD, Sarah and I happily decided to have a night out after MD finished work at 9pm. We left at 11pm and walked leisurly to Falafel to take some salad out for Herbi.

MD and Sarah walked me home and just before we got to my house we stopped at the bus as we chatted, at this point I was protesting loudly as I was getting teased. So there we stood, 3 girls, under a light bus shelter about 5 doors away from my house, feeling safe and content. When a lone scaly man walked past us on the other side of the street, looked at us we looked at him, didn’t think anything thing of it, turned back and continues our loud, jolly conversation when he crossed the road, pulled up his collar over his mouth and nose. Stood next to MD and said

“Give me your f*****g bag”

When MD, Sarah and I looked at him rather confused, not connecting the events and just looked at him blankly, when he repeated himself again loudly and moved towards MD looking dazed handed her bag over to him, I looked at him and said

“Are you serious?”

He took MD’s bag and walked off 3 paces or so then turned around (he must have realised there where another 2 girls with bags) and walked back to me and Sarah and repeated his favourite phrase

“Give me your f******g bag”

In which case I was getting annoyed and was coming out of my daze and turned to him, saying

“Are you for real?”

He grabbed my bag and for a while we shouted at each other and played a tug-of-war with my bag, he pulls me into the empty street, When MD started screaming and Sarah got on her phone to call the police and ran to the nearest house with lights on trying to alert the neighbours.

He started to become agitated because of the noise and the fact that our tug-of-war was detaining him. He looked around and panicked, kicking me in the ribs! I have no idea how, why or what possessed me but I made a fist and swung at his jaw! He blinked several times, looked around dazed and then pushed me with his arm on my shoulder, bruising my collar bone, which ticked me off again, he snapped the bag from my grip and started running, I ran after him and bunched him somewhere on his back, I continued running after him till he went around the corner, at that instance I came back to my sense and walked back to MD and Sarah.

To find Sarah on the phone to the police. The rest wrapped up quite quickly, we walked across to my house as the police told us to wait there! We came in and sat on the steps of the stairs ….and the rest is history…well tell we go to Police station on Monday and give our official statements that is.

At about 3 am I couldn’t sleep and Sarah called, we strangely had a really good laugh at the situation, its was hilarious! In a psychotic sort of hysterical way or so it should have been, there was even a time when we felt sorry for him, I mean the poor scaly didn’t bargain on 3 women who would make enough noise to walk everyone in the neighbourhood accompanied by an angry Somali who punched him and chased him, he went through of that and didn’t even end up with enough change for a joint so am informed!

My ribs and collar bone are bruised but it’s quite comforting to think that he might be taking painkillers too! I never really understood the need for a mahram when you’re in groups, but that scaly only saw 3 girls with bags! Food for though!

Arrggghhh

Do you ever wonder, how something you said, or enquired about which to you seemed so simple and so straightforward could be misinterpreted so differently? And when it happens more then once with the same person, what on earth does it mean?! Why are you so misunderstood, and not even in a mild sort of way in which you can think to yourself,

“I see how it could have been interpreted that way”

But in such a way that you just sit there when the email arrives thinking, what on EARTH is going on here?! And then restrain yourself from storming into their room and asking them how the HELL they arrived at that conclusion!?!

On the plus side at least am learning to master my emotions, and emailing back a rational, controlled and BLOODY professional response, or so I hope … Arrrgghh

One down ? to go

On a chilly, mancunian day another one of my usrah sisters had her aqad (contract) at didsbury mosque.

It was lovely mashAllah, I have another one to go to this Saturday then another one around Christmas if not before. Oh and we have another usrah baby on the way! Alhamdulilah.

Definitely an exciting time in NM’s life.

Change is VERY good alhamdulilah! (Broad smile)

Part time/ full time

I have a dilemma, whether to do my Med Part time or full time?

Part time, would mean that I would have an income, be able to complete the project am working on now and still be able to have a life, viva la gallivanting.

Full time would mean, I would be broke again, probably like never before, it would be 12 months continuously, I would have to get a weekend job, have no life, plus i would leave my project uncomplete...but it would mean that I would have completed my Med by 2007 and then I would be able to start a career instead of flouncing around not knowing what i want?

What to do? the easier option is obviously part time but is it the right choice, will i just be dragging out this gap year?!

Personal statement

I am sat here having a late lunch and trying to write my personal statement for my masters, I think everyone is starting to despair of me ever settling on a course, on a career on a life goal… at this point I would like to point out that I have just turned 22 for goodness sake and just because my mother was responsible and worldly enough to be raising 2 children by this age does not mean that I should have my whole life ( what there is left of if ) pegged out!!

Phew, end of rant! I am actually more annoyed at myself for not knowing what I want and for not being able to write this ***** personal statement, I write so much nonsense the rest of the time (yes the psycho babble ladies) but when it comes to babbling on about why I want to do an MA in special and inclusive education I just can’t get passed the fact that my little sister has learning difficulties ( along with attitude difficulties)

That’s it am in listing Bangles and Hayak, the only other person who I know can make nonsense sound substantial is Stuffed Olive but you can’t ask your boss to help you with these things can you?

I am in dire need of some Happy Food right now a.k.a Chocolate

Help people!!!

Freedom for Palestine

Unless you watch Al-Jazeerah you will probably have missed the coverage of the freedom for palestine demonstration which culminated at Trafalgar square this Saturday, The atmosphere was fantastic and it’s great to hear speakers who have not sold their humanity for power and prestige.

The highlight other then finally seeing Tahnia!! Was when the speakers announced the presence of “Jews against Zionism” who and wait for this.... who because it was the Sabbath and they couldn’t use transport had walked for 5HOURS to get to Trafalgar square and faced a similarly lengthy walk back! WOW

Also If you text “PAL” to 84858 and you will donate £3 to interpal which will be used to feed a Palestine family for a week! Text away

On a lighter note.......I unfortunately had to use the toilet on the coach ( not pleasant), Mona Lisa and White African where sat behind me and when I came out White African ran after and pulled on my skirt?!!! I turned around to find Mona Lisa sat, clutching her middle and laughing insanely while White African stood behind me laughing just an insanely, when I could finally get her to speak it turns out that i walked out of the toilet with my skirt tugged in my fitted trekking jeans (Opps)

No one notice because of White African’s speedy Gonzales reflexes. A heart felt thanks Sis that would have been terribly embarrassing on a mixed coach!!

Hayak Teaching

Hayak has got a job. Yay for me it starts in September so viva la gallivanting. Hayak may allah bless her has taken a job she is over qualified for which pays 50% less then what she is used to as a 3 time graduate and why I hear you asking!!

Well she is a lady on a mission, She has take the teaching job so that she can give something to the community for a year, She is going to take over the humanities department in an up and coming Muslim school, wipe them into shape and inshallah provide a positive role model for the youth!!

Hayak all I can say is May Allah purify your intention and build for you a lofty dwelling place in Jannatul Firdausa for your sacrifice.

Alderley Edge

This Friday’s expedition was to the Alderley Edge in Cheshire, this week Hayak and I were joined by Sarah and MD. We brought tickets from Piccadilly train station and because it wasn’t displaying the next train time we went to ask, the guy at the help desk informed us that the line was closed till November!!!

After Md’s face fell he carried on to tell us that there was a train to Stockport and then a connecting bus to alderley edge!! So we jumped on the train to Stockport, nearly missing the stop because I was charging my phone. When Hayak realises she is not dressed for the occasion as she had a job interview and the heels just wouldn’t do up a cliff.

We went into the centre and brought some shoes, food and Md’s and Sarah brought out a charity shop, something about THE denim skirt, we effectively missed the first bus but just made it on the second one…phew!!

We sit and I dug out some doughnuts from my bag when MD looking panic stricken turns to us and says she really wants to go swimming and if she comes to the edge she will miss it… We tried to encourage her to stay but she swiftly decided to get off and made her way back to Manchester.....bizzare behaviour

So we lost one person to unforeseen circumstance but we the 3 remaining pioneers continued onwards and finally made it to Alderley edge, stopped of at a nice charity shop and starting chatting with the elderly lady behind the counter. Since when did charity shop bags cost £150? Its safe to say none of us could afford to buy anything so we left after the chat and directions.

We walked leisurely for about 20 minutes on the route the gentle looking lady had chosen for us only for Hayak to start questioning why the route wasn’t becoming steeper the further we went; we saw a lone man and he re-directed us

The 20min walk took us 3 about 45minutes but the views and the peace and contentment while we sat on the edge was amazing. Shortly after Hayak preyed on the edge it started raining and we sat on the cliff edge and made Du’a it was beautiful!! Definitely the highlight of the trip oh and we got lost on the way down… we had our own Blair witch project moment when we where lost in the woods and we couldn’t find the path down while the rain poured Subhanallah

Hijab a protection

Wednesday I had a meeting with some people from connexions for the project I am co-ordinating at work, essentially the meeting went well and it was a good experience for the young ladies. But the highlight for me other then falling out of the bus, instead of stepping off it (I didn’t hurt myself, alhamdulilah it just looked ridiculous) was

When we started talking about youth and crime, so am sat there scribbling away and creating mind maps because they are all talking so fast when one of the service providers starting commenting on young male gang members and their effect on young women and how one of the forms of proving their masculinity other then violence is how many girls they can get…blah ..blah..

When he mentions witnessing the case of young hijabi’s in the vicinity of rouge looking gang members (usually at the reception or youth club) and not one of them bothers them and how this is the case again and again

There we go out of the mouth of a non-muslim male confirming what Allah has taught us.

"O prophet, tell your wives, your daughters, and the wives of the believers that they shall LENGTHEN their garments. Thus, they will be recognized and avoid being insulted. God is Forgiver, Most Merciful." 33:59

Gallivanting with Hayak

My fellow psycho friend (as fondly shortened by our non psychologist friends) is between jobs at the moment, she is moving from being a university researcher to being a teacher inshallah which luckily for me means she is as free as a bird till September inshallah! Yay!!!

This time has given us some real bonding time Alhamdulilah and last night was a fine example after our Tuesday circle when MD was trying (bless her) to convince us to go swimming when the following conversation took place

MD: Come on you two, why don’t you want to come swimming
NM and Hayak: NO
MD: you can just paddle
NM and Hayak: I almost drowning as a child
MD: both of you!
NM turns to Hayak: really? When
Hayak: at school, I had to be rescued
NM: Oh my god me too

At this point we both started squealing, clapping and shared our little near death experience. Which turns out to be exactly the same; we came to the conclusion that it was undiagnosed trauma that led us to study psychology and is now leading us to both wanting to in one shape or form work in the education system.

So now Hayak and I can go gallivanting around the northwest, there are so many gems that we poor city folk have just not explored. A perfect example is a little town called Hebdon Bridge which Hayak and I went to last Friday. Visally stunning place and the resident are all hippies so we fit in just fine. Trusting folk too, when Hayak brought her incense she was short of 4 and the lady in the shop told her to pick up 4 on her way out. Hayak did and went back to the lady to show her she had 10. The lady laughed and waved her hand at us saying “go on I trust you” with a broad smile. Not something that you are likely to experience here in Manchester.

This Friday is Lym ( I hear its swingers central..how I came about this information…..through someone I work with….i hope they don’t come out during the day and if by swinging you understand it to be something you find in a playground! Well don’t ask too many questions believe me….

working 9 to 5

I have been wondering how people work full time for 5 days and still manage to have a life, I only work 3days and yet I have to make appointments to see people. Mon, Tues and Wed are spent firmly at work and by the time I get home at 6.30 I just want to unwind and watch something passively or read, spend time chating with my sisters and little brother ( although I think we have officially hit the teenage phase as he only talks in grunts now ).

Thursday is the beginning of my weekend and I spend the day lazing about and being with my mum and dad. Friday is jummah then I usually go out with those who have made it to jummah, Saturday, I catch up with my nieces and the rest of my friends, Sunday is full with Arabic and usrah then the working week starts again!!

Where does all the time go?! And worse if am such a scatterbrain now how will I cope with working Monday to Friday…..

Car 4da crew fund

I Want you all to join me in coercing Evertheidealist to get her car fixed, or we should start a “ car 4 da crew” fund or something, I swear Evertheidealist may Allah reward her for the abundant lifts and car journey that she gave me and the rest of you! I didn’t realise how much I took you for granted and my only show of appreciation was a “Jazakallah Khayr as I existed the car, more often then not banging your car door shut or the beautiful way everyone came to accept that if I was going to be in the car the passenger seat was reserved for me ( how we arrived at this I can’t remember but It was BEAUTIFUL)

I have had so many weird and precarious taxi journeys ever since Evertheidealist’s blessed car failed (on one occasion with me MD and Evertheidealist, at 12am under a bridge, obviously our respective parents never found out!)

The strangest taxi ride was a couple of night ago when I was returning from a day out with the girls, we stood at Piccadilly bus station and as usual my bus was running every half hour while the 86 runs every other 5 minutes or so (am bitter I know UGH). So instead of leaving me by my lonesome we decided Evertheidealist would give me a lift back if I caught the bus with everyone using her mum’s car. When we got there her mum wasn’t there and the only option was to take a taxi.

It turned out that neither of us had any cash so at about 10pm we had to walk down to the cash machine and then Evertheidealist flat, MD and JUG were already there. We got there, called a taxi and it came within 5 minutes or so and it looked like I would get home in about 15 minutes and the day would come to a happy conclusion.

I got in to the taxi with a rather non- too friendly looking man who was sporting an over grown goatee. The taxi looked like my stereotypical image of a bachelor’s pad, all black leather and full of gadgets.

I thought I should make conversation and asked what the name of the song he had playing was, he asked if I wanted to listen to it “real loud” I wanted to say no but thought it was best to keep the overgrown man sweet so I said “okay then”.

The car came to life; lights of different colours were switched on, a disco ball descended from the roof of the car! The song was playing so loud my seat was vibrating and I was just sat there speechless, Walahi it was like being in a 70’s disco but in a taxi!! He was driving and bopping his head from side to side and his driving I must admit was a course for concern ( worst then lady wildcats which says a LOT!!!!!) while his taste in music assaulted my poor ears and the thudding of his speakers made my pulse race!! Has any body else been in this taxi I really want it verified it was sooo sureal and so cool. It was definately the most interesting taxi journey i have ever taken.

The sneakiness of change

You don’t realise how quickly things around you change till an undeniable fact materialise. Suhanallah it is only been a year since I was trekking up and down oxford road going from one lecture to another with a massive rucksack and a carefree smile. I am unsure whether things changed as rapidly as they have been changing this year but while I was at university not a lot seemed to change or when it did it was slow paced enough for you to take stock and accept what ever the occurring change was.

Since I graduated (all of about 11 months ago) the pace of change has been at a phenomenal speed. Every time I turn something new and unexpected is taking place and it is not just those around me either I am changing too.

What has sparked this off? Well one of my university friends in the past 14 months or so, got married, and 3 days ago gave birth ( mashallah) to the most adorable baby boy, while my other university friend is coming to the end of her masters ( may Allah make it easy for her). Another of my friends has moved away to London (and may I add broke the never moving from Manchester rule) and change goes on and on.

The most awakening of all being that my baby sisters is going to move out to go to Liverpool or Birmingham University this September. My eldest niece is turning 13 and is almost as lanky as I am. The only things that seem to have remained unchanged are my parents, my rocks may Allah keep them with us.

I have been dwelling on the course and pace of change for a while now. When ever I think I have come to terms with something new or have learnt to accept it whether I view it as being good or not something else happens that takes my breath away.

The strangest thing here being that I feel the world is moving and changing around me and change is happening to me without I being directly involved. My sense of control, of governance has been tilled.

Talking about change and hopefully growing I have learned that I like feeling in control when, this is jolted I resist, but I have come to the realisation that we don’t really control anything, we can do our best but at the end of the day we should just let it be. Also I have realised just how fickle I am, I am not certain of what I want and when ever I think I have made my mind up something will happen or come along that will make me re-evaluate this. Thank God for the istikharah! I have an inherent sense to experience new things, meet new people, see new place and so on which is what my gap year (courtesy of work) has allowed me to do.

Something that has struck me as sad is that as you get older your dreams become more “realistic” limited I think is the word and I don’t think we should ever allow that to happen, so here is to learning to accept change however it may sneak up on you and maintaining our inner PETER PAN!!

Now that my official GAP year is coming to an end what do I want to do?